Winter Tears (unfinished writing in my folder)

Ditulis 8 Agustus 2014

PROLOGUE

Bam! She slammed the door as hard as she could and crawled. Her tears were forcing her to make them be released. But she didn’t want to do that. She never wanted to.

“Tears are for the weak ones only.”

The little bulb above her started blurring and she just didn’t care. Why would she care about the world if it doesn’t even care a bit about her?

She inhaled a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her mind was like a crumbled paper, disorganized and it was like a big black hole at the galaxy. Everything was black.

No red, no yellow, no orange, no purple. No colors to be seen.

She was still feeling blue, she had no one to comfort. She was crawling, but no one tried to approach her.  It always has been like this.

“You know, Mr. Smooch, you’re the only one that doesn’t start rolling eyes when I talk.” She said softly. The fluffy rabbit doll she was talking to gave no response at all. It was probably chilling inside the warm blanket covering them.

She couldn’t stand it anymore. Her shoulders started shaking up and down, the tears that were waiting escaped from her eyes after a long wait. Well, that girl is a teenager. She’s a human too. She has feelings, she’s fragile and her heart isn’t a static rock that is frigid.

The clock kept on ticking. It’s a fact that the time cannot be stopped. It’s the magic of nature. Some things just cannot be changed. And there are also other things that cannot be handled. Just like the things she went through.

People kept saying that life is beautiful, there will be a rainbow after the storm, everything happened for a reason, and I could go on, and on, and on, but she won't believe a word I'm saying.

It's because she's different. She's a snow storm in the winter. No one can stand going through her, a storm is always too cold and brings pain to people who try to go through it.

Part 1.

Cammy opened her mouth widely and put the whole sandwich into her mouth.  A beautiful woman stared at her seriously and narrowed her eyes toward her.

“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t do that. Remember: manners are everything.” The elegant pony-tailed woman said. Her glasses made her look intelligent (which she actually is).

The brunette-haired girl grinned widely. Her freckles added the value of her cuteness. “But Mom, no one sees it here. Anyways, I think I don’t fit acting like that. If I do that, I’m not being myself. Well, it’s hard to explain, but you do know what I mean.”

An awkward silenced spreaded into the whole room. The man who was reading newspaper was also distracted and decided to join the conversation. 

“Well Cammy, you have to adapt to the situation. What if one of my relatives saw the unmannered you?” he said while taking a sip of his tea.

“Ah. So you’re afraid I will embarrass you, Dad?” Cammy started being high-pitched.

The man attached his ties and wore his black expensive shoes. He coughed a little.

“I’m not saying that. But of course I cannot prevent you to feel that way.”

He waved towards his wife and went away, just like that. Cammy sighed and had no more lust to eat, eventhough it is her favourite dish.

“This happens everyday.” She said. “Mom, could you do something about this?”

“Nope. Your father is right, honey. You have to keep you attitude. And I have to go to now. Bye, darling.” She said one-toned and went away to work, just like her Dad.

An elder woman came and took all the plates. She patted Cammy’s head gently and smiled. “Don’t worry, Cammy. You still have me.”

Cammy’s lips finally formed a super sweet smile. Madam Carrie, the family’s maid since she was little, was always the only one who understood her. She was the only that was there when Cammy needed it.

“Thanks Madam, I am trying to get used to this condition, but it’s just so difficult.” She said while packing her books into the her little panda bag. This little bag Cammy used everyday was a birthday gift from Madam Carrie who loves her little boss dearly. “I don’t choose to live in this big house. I also didn’t choose to get everything I want with money. And I don’t like this at all.”

Madam Carrie always understood Cammy, which made her speak honestly toward her. Her heart needs to be heard, that is one thing for sure.

“Well, we can’t change people, honey.” She said wisely while helping Cammy preparing her school needs.  “But one thing you need to know, we actually change people by changing ourselves first.”

Cammy wanted to ask more about things she said but the alarm warned her to go to school now. Her driver was waiting in front of her house. The journey towards the school is always the scariest thing to face.

She sat on the right side of the driver who was uniformed neatly. The birds chirped a song on that morning, it seemed like they want to make Cammy’s mood be lifted up a little more.

“Good morning miss Cammy.” he greeted Cammy politely. “Are you ready to go to school?”

Cammy sighed. “Good morning Mr. Darren, I hope I am ready. I truly hope so”

**

“Whoa, hello money-handed girl!” a student welcomed Cammy ‘warmly’. The other ones followed that not-funny speaking with a little laugh.  The poor Cammy looked at the blonde girl in the eyes. But the bully just didn’t care. She never did, whatever Cammy tried to say was like a disgusting barf that needs to be avoided.

The school hall smelled good like it always does. People walked here and there, doing things, busy with themselves. Some were busy putting some books in the light-blue colored school lockers, some are busy gossiping (Cammy hates this one so much) and some were busy studying.

There were people who didn’t care, but there are people who cared too much. The gossip queens wanted to know and harras every single thing they know until they were satisfied.

“Here I am again. Alone, as always.”

She felt disrespected there. It seemed like everyone kept a distance of her because Cammy’s dad is played an important role at the school. Well, Cammy didn’t choose to be born from her family, which is doesn’t seem like family.

“I just don’t know what my fault is. Why does Brittany and the gang always insult me?” she whispered softly, trying not to cry. “I’m a human too.”

Cammy went into her locker and get some books kept in there and put in quickly into her bags. She didn’t want to come late too class, not if the teacher is Miss Christina. She’s like a ‘lion’ between the ‘zebras’. She could do anything to the zebras if she’s mad. Coming late to her class? Cammy shook her head. It probably is a suicide. She could get hit by those painful words and she doesn’t want to add value to her miserable social level.

Then Cammy realized that she was almost too late for the class. Two minutes before the bell ringed, the clock said. She hurried and went as fast as possible while mumbling.

“I have to memorize the history again. Indonesia is a country that- AAH!”

Both of the figures fell. The books spreaded everywhere and fell on the ground. The collision sound pretty hard so it must hurt.

“Aah.” Cammy patted her head.

The figure who hit her helped her standing up. “I’m so sorry, Cammy. I didn’t meant to hit you.”

Cammy moved her head and saw that man; black haired, tanned skin, perfect jaws and sharp eyes. 

The fascinated girl found herself with mouth open.

“I-I’m okay.” She said, blushing a little. He has thin lips. His hairs were a little waved but it maked him looked more sparkling. His cheeks were..

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said, worrying about Cammy who kept staring at him.

Cammy nodded. And the bell ringed now.

“We both have to go to class now. Bye!” the unknown boy waved and went away after picking some books. Cammy also walked away smiling. This was her first smile at this school, and her heart never acted like this before.

“Stop acting stupid, Cammy. We won’t talk to each other again, ever.”